starkidfreakinglauren:

The moments of silence that followed her statement were some of the most fearful Lauren had ever experienced. Her breathing sped up a bit, her eyes welling in tears as, for just a moment, her mind tricked her into thinking that just maybe she’d been wrong to tell him now. Just maybe, she was wrong and he was going to leave, and she’d be left to deal with this by herself. She wasn’t sure if she could handle that, honestly.

And then his lips were pressing against hers. Pressing back, she let out a small, relieved half-sob, closing her eyes for a minute and just reveling in the fact that he was still there. Nick was still here, with his arms around her, and he wasn’t leaving her alone. He was staying, and they were going to handle this together.

The tone in his voice when he whispered his question drew a quiet, hesitant laugh from her lips, and he nodded. “We’re having a baby,” she whispered softly, her hand resting on her stomach lightly. 

Nick let out a soft, happy-awed laugh and kissed her again, resting his hand over hers on her tummy. “We’re having a baby, Lauren… It’s a bit earlier than I thought it would happen, but god I’m so happy.” He smiled, scared out of his mind because how the hell is he going to be a good parent, but so, so happy because it will be their baby. “Our baby…” He slid his hand down to push under the shirt and rest his hand on her skin. “You’re gonna get even cuter, Sweetcheeks,” he said with a soft laugh.

(Source: nicholasjamesduval, via )

starkidfreakinglauren:

Lauren paused a moment at his soft statement, looking down at their hands and swallowing lightly as the nervousness in her stomach bubbled up higher. She couldn’t keep this from him, not when he was trusting her with so much… No, she couldn’t keep this from him. She had to tell. He deserved to know, anyway. And something in her knew he wouldn’t leave.

Tentative, she shifted so that she was in his lap, pulling her knees up a bit and resting against him, taking a moment to revel in this feeling. The warmth that surged through her just at how close they were was comforting, relaxing, and it made her nerves start to quell, as little help as it was.

Taking a slow, deep breath, Lauren looked down for a minute before looking up to meet his eye. Straight and to the point, she swallowed lightly, tightening her hold on his hand as her voice came out in little more than a whisper. “I’m pregnant, Nickie.”

Nick wrapped his arms around her when she moved onto his lap, kissing her temple because it seemed like the right thing to do and because he wanted to do it. She was his, he was hers, and whatever was going on to make her so nervous was something they could handle together. 

Their eyes met and he squeezed back when she held his hand tighter, listening close. I’m pregnant. It echoed in his mind and for a second he thought he was going to pass out. How was she… Well that was a stupid question and he wouldn’t even let himself finish it in his mind. Nick did the first thing that came to mind for an actually reaction: he leaned in and pressed his lips carefully to hers.

Pulling back, he whispered, a little awed, a little surprised, “We’re gonna have a baby?”

(Source: nicholasjamesduval, via )

blainefreakinanderson:

Lauren listened as he spoke about classes, giving a soft giggle at his statement about the second professor. “Hey, even older people need to get laid now and then,” she said lightly, setting out a set of 12 balls of dough before covering the bowl she had beside her. 

Her eyes moved up to him, wide and with perhaps a hint of fear in them when his hand brushed the hair behind her ear, and she gave what she could tell was a weak smile despite her efforts to make it strong. “I’m okay,” she said softly. “I’m… kind of amazing, actually. Just… I have some news for you,” she continued quietly, sniffling quietly with the smallest hint of fear in her voice.

Swallowing lightly, she pressed a kiss to his palm, moving to the fridge to set the bowl of remaining cookie dough into it and putting the cookies in the oven when she returned there. Turning toward him, she ran a hand through her hair nervously, chewing her lip. “Sit with me?” she asked softly, looking up at him.

The way she was acting, the hint of fear he could swear was in her voice and eyes… it scared him, made worry even though she said she was ‘kind of amazing’. “You’re more than just “kind of amazing,” Lauren,” he whispered before nodding at her question. “Of course I’ll sit with you.” 

Nick wrapped an arm around her and kissed her temple before sort of leading her toward the couch. He slipped his hand into hers and sat. He pulled her close to him on the couch, not quite on his lap but still close, and cupped a hand around her cheek. His voice was soft as he asked, “What is it, baby? You know you can tell me anything.” He ran his thumb lightly over her cheek before letting it slip down to take her hand in his and lace their fingers together. He pushed down all the negative possibilities that were trying to crowd into his mind, staunchly ignoring them.

(Source: nicholasjamesduval)

starkidfreakinglauren:

Lauren was pulling a pan of brownies out of the oven when she heard the sound of the apartment door opening. Setting the pan on the stove and closing it, she pulled off the oven mitt, sniffling quietly and running a hand through her hair. Closing her eyes for just a moment, she painted a smile on her face, hoping her eyes weren’t red enough for it to be noticeable as Nick came toward the kitchen.

“Hey Nickie,” she said softly, smiling sweetly at him and walking over to the entrance to the kitchen. Shifting up on her tip toes, she pressed a soft kiss to his lips before returning to the bowl of cookie dough she’d been finishing up before the brownies had finished. Washing her hands quickly, she started making little balls of cookie dough and setting them on a greased pan beside her.

“How were classes?” she asked, smiling lightly at him and sniffling quietly again, using her chin to push the sleeve of the shirt she wore higher on her arm. His clothes always fell so comfortably on her frame, and the way the plaid shirt fell loosely over her stomach was comforting.

So it was brownies that he’d been smelling. It was nice, coming home to baked goods, though he could have sworn he heard a sniffle. He pushed it away for a moment to just look at his girlfriend. She was always beautiful, and the way she looked in his shirt… Warmth swelled through his chest at the sight and he just wanted to gather her into his arms when she kissed him. But he knew the importance of getting cookie dough used quickly - he’d gotten sick once as a kid from cookie dough that had sat out too long - so with a gentle brush of fingers down her back he let her get to it, not hovering to close because he didn’t want to get in the way. 

The second sniffle, after she asked him how classes were, caught his attention. He shifted a little closer, ready to be a comfort if she needed it. “Classes were alright. Professor Wharton droned like normal, but Professor Baxter was a little more fun than normal. As weird as it is to think about since she has to be in her late fifties, I think she got laid.” Nick laughed easily and looked closer at her while she made balls of cookie dough.

Softly he asked, “Babycakes… Are you alright?” and reached out to brush a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

(Source: nicholasjamesduval, via )

(via rrrowr)

Nick had spent the morning on campus in lectures, listening to droning professors in their fifties or more talk about different philosophy things. Sometimes he wondered why he was a philosophy major, and today he couldn’t quite figure out why he stuck with it. But whatever, he was finally headed home.

Home had become Lauren’s apartment, though he was still paying rent for his and Blaine’s place for the time being. He still lived there, most of his stuff was still there, but he had kind of been sneak-moving-in to Lauren’s for the last week. Just little things, his toothbrush and a small three drawer tote thing had been purchased to hold some of his clothes, and his book bag had a permanent home up against the arm of the couch on the floor. Nick and Lauren hadn’t really discussed him moving in, it had just sort of happened.

He unlocked the door with the key they’d had made for him and slipped inside, locking it behind him out of habit more than anything. He could smell something baking as he toed off his shoes. “Lauren?” he asked, making a detour into the living room to drop his bag before heading into the kitchen. 

blainefreakinanderson:

Blaine took slow breaths as Nick spoke, the words filtering through his mind vaguely, barely registering. He let his eyes raise to Nick for a moment, just looking over the brunet. He could see he was unsteady on his feet, could see the edges of a breakdown on his face, but it wasn’t his place to be the one to make him better anymore. Lauren could do that for Nick now.

Taking a shuddering breath, he whispered, “I-I’ll be f-fine. G-go to L-Lauren.” His voice was weak, thin and shaky, and some part of his mind registered that the first statement wasn’t going to be true for a long, long time. But right now that didn’t matter. He lifted a shaking hand, waving goodbye and fighting back the sobs that were sure to start as soon as Nick was out the door.

Everything in him screamed that he needed to go back to Blaine, to take him into his arms and make everything better, right fucking now, but he knew it wasn’t his place anymore. It hadn’t been his place for a few days now, since Blaine called for Kurt instead. 

“Kurt will be here soon,” Nick whispered and forced himself to open the door and slip through it.

blainefreakinanderson:

Blaine forced himself to focus on Nick’s words, lifting his head after a bit to meet his eye tentatively. His pupils were slightly blown, irises red rimmed, and eyes opened wide in hurt, fear, and perhaps panic. He took slow breaths, trying to calm his breathing, and tried to let the other’s voice sound true in his ears. As Nick straightened, Blaine let go of the brunet’s hand, wrapping his shaking arms around his knees again.

He took a shuddering breath when Nick spoke again, nodding. “Okay,” he said quietly, almost inaudibly. He nodded, burying his face in his knees again, and stayed quiet, sniffling against them and letting the panic that was pulling at the edges of his mind start to take over.

Nick nodded slowly when Blaine wrapped his arm around his legs. “I love you, Kurt loves you. Focus on that when it starts to hurt, when Andrew starts talking, okay? Those are the truest things in the world, that you are loved. You. Are. Loved.” He took a steadying breath. “I’ll come back, all you have to do is call.” Biting his lip, Nick turned to go, a little unsteady on his feet. He had to hold it together, had to wait to break down. Lauren was out there waiting for him, he just needed to get to her.

Before he reached the door he looked back. “Kurt will be here soon. Just hold on until then, okay?” 

blainefreakinanderson:

Blaine tried to let himself focus on Nick’s voice, tried to let his mind focus on the feeling of the other’s hand touching his and the honesty in his whisper. He swallowed tightly, shaking worse when Andrew’s voice got that little bit louder in his head. He’s lying, Blaine. He’s gonna walk out of the room and never come back, because he hates you. They all hate you. They should hate you. You deserve this, you deserve all of this.

Whimpering quietly, he tightened the hand in his hair, trying to shut the voice out of his head. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he whispered against his knees, almost rocking before pain shot up his spine and he whimpered quietly, stilling again. He swallowed tightly, hiding his face more against his knees, and whispered, “C-can you get Kurt? I-I don’t know if he’s here yet…” He bit his lip then, thinking a moment. “N-no, wait, d-don’t. I d-don’t deserve him right now…”

Blaine took a slow, shaky breath, the edges of panic still clear in his form and the way his body shook as he curled up more still despite the pain shooting through him. He swallowed tightly, whispering, “Y-you should get b-back to Lauren.” 

Nick’s grip on Blaine’s hand tightened. He could tell that Blaine was hearing Andrew, knew the things he was hearing had to be horrible. “You are amazing, Blaine. So strong, and you deserve everything in the world except for what Andrew did to you. You deserve Kurt, you deserve happiness. You did not deserve what Andrew did to you. You did not deserve to be treated like that.”

He leaned in very slowly, bending to try and look into Blaine’s eyes. With a strong, firm voice ringing with honesty, he said, “You did not deserve to be treated that way. You did nothing to deserve that. You deserve to be happy. Happy, Blaine, do you hear me? Kurt loves you. Kurt loves you for all that you are, things he knows and things he doesn’t, just like I love you.  He wants to be here for you, wants to help you because he loves you, Blaine.”

Nick took a deep breath. “I’m going to text Kurt, so that he can be here for you like you deserve, like you need. He’d want to be here for you.” He kept a hold of Blaine’s hand as he reached for his cellphone on the bedside table. It was easy to find Kurt’s number, to text him that it was Nick and that Blaine needed Kurt as soon as possible. Nick’s heart ached as he watched the message send, but he needed to be strong for Blaine right now, couldn’t break down on him. 

“Blaine, I want you to listen to me, okay? Whenever you want to see me, when you’re feeling better or not, I don’t care, but when you want to see me… Text or call and I’ll come see you, okay? But you need Kurt right now, you need him and you need to let him help you get better. You need to trust the things he tells you because they’ll be the truth.”

Nick’s voice broke on what he said next, cracking a bit and nearly getting caught on a bubble of his own barely held down emotions. “I know Andrew’s voice is loud right now, but he’s a liar. He is the worst kind of liar, the kind that wants to hurt and make it hurt forever. But Blaine, he is a liar and what he’s saying in your head, what he’s told you in the past, it is all lies. What Kurt and I are telling you, you need to focus on that because it’s the truth.” He kept talking, hoping he was talking over Andrew’s voice in Blaine’s head. ”Focus on Kurt and me, okay? Remember what I’ve told you. I will never not love you, even if I am with someone else, loving them. Kurt loves you. Let him love you and know that it is real.” 

Chewing on his lip, Nick stood straight once more. Tears were clouding his vision again but he wouldn’t let himself cry yet, not now. “Kurt will be here soon, B. I’m… I’m gonna go, okay? But I’ll come back, if you want to see me.” 

blainefreakinanderson:

Blaine’s hands shook more as Nick spoke, pushing his hands into his hair and trying to stop the panic before it finished overtaking him completely. He shook his head when Nick said he’d get Kurt, whispering, “Don’t deserve Kurt. Don’t deserve anything. Not worth it. Not worth the trouble, not worth the tears. Not worth anything. Not worth anything at all.”

He whimpered as his knees pressed against his ribs, his breath speeding up a little bit more as pain shot up his spine from the way his skin pulled. He swallowed tightly, shaking his head against his knees, trying to block out the way Andrew’s voice was sounding in his ears. If he could just focus on Nick’s voice, focus on the things the other was saying instead of on what was sounding in his head.

One shaking hand reached out, almost desperately, trying to get a hold of Nick’s hand. “Please don’t hate me,” he whispered brokenly. “I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough, I’m sorry I wasn’t enough, I just want you to be happy. Please don’t hate me.” He felt himself breaking more as his fingers brushed the other’s hand. “Please don’t hate me.”

Nick linked their fingers when Blaine reached out to him, though he frowned as the other spoke. “You deserve the world, Blaine. Kurt loves you and you love him and you’ll be be happy together. You deserve so much more than I could ever give you.” Nick brushed his thumb over the back of Blaine’s hand. It broke his heart to hear and see Blaine so broken. 

“I could never, ever hate you, Blaine,” he whispered firmly. “It’s not even an option. Never ever will it be an option, or even a vague possibility. You will always have part of my heart, and I cannot hate someone I love. You are more than good enough, and I want you to be happy, too. Blaine, that’s all I’ve ever wanted. I want you to be happy.” Nick carefully squeezed Blaine’s hand, hoping he was getting through to him, repeating over and over in a soft, honest voice that he couldn’t hate Blaine, never would, and that Blaine was so much more than he ever believed he was, so much more amazing and wonderful and better that Nick had ever hoped to have.